CPO Health - FAMILY: 7 Major Marriage Mistakes

CPO Health - FAMILY: 7 Major Marriage Mistakes

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AND HOW TO AVOID THEM - by Rose Barrett

The most common mistakes in a marriage are really the simple

ones. If you pay attention and avoid – or at least correct –

these mistakes, chances are you can count yourselves among the partners

Here’s the Major Marriage Mistakes List:

No one likes to be talked at, and no one likes to be ignored. When your

spouse begins talking with you, genuinely listen. If you’re busy

with something or are having difficulty maintaining your focus, ask if

you can talk at another time. Then set the time and place and keep the

appointment. Remember, when spouses take the time to talk with you, what

they are saying is important to them.

When you listen, truly listen, you are telling them they

are important to you. You care about their thoughts and opinions enough

to take the time to hear them.

This may be the most important place to employ the Golden Rule: Treat

your spouse as you would like your spouse to treat you. Thank your husband

for the things he does, even if it’s just picking up his socks.

Don’t talk bad about your wife when she isn’t around. If they

have a bad day, give them a little space to deal with what is going on.

Believe they are smart enough to handle the situation without your help.

However, if they ask for help, be there to give it.

When your spouse does something good, whether it’s

at work or at home, be sure to offer congratulations. Everyone likes recognition

for a job well done, especially when it’s unsolicited.

Be truthful with your mate. Having lies or secrets in a relationship creates

distance and a lack of trust. Even little lies can be hurtful. If you

spilled a soda on his favorite chair, don’t blame it on the dog.

Sometimes we’re afraid to tell the truth because we think our spouse

will get mad. And it might happen, but it’s a lot easier to get

over being angry about the truth than it is to get over the anger of being

The dictionary defines selfishness as being concerned with your own interest,

needs and wishes, while ignoring those of others. Translating this into

everyday life includes hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants

when you could afford better, not watching movies your spouse wants to

see, or spending money on yourself but making a big deal if your spouse

spends a dime. Putting your mate’s needs first is a great way of

demonstrating just how important he or she is to you.

Actions always speak louder than words. When you say you’ll do something,

do it. This can be as simple as showing up on time when picking your spouse

up from work. It includes not spending money when you’ve agreed

to a budget, even though your favorite department store is having a once

in a millennium sale. It means keeping intimate conversations private.

Your mate may tell you he thinks his brother is an idiot, but he doesn’t

want you to share that the next time brother comes over to visit.

There’s a phrase you simply can’t hear enough of. Saying,”

I love you,” is a regular part of the dating scene, but sometimes

after getting married it’s not heard nearly as often. Everyone likes

to know they are loved. Often we expect our spouse to automatically know

that’s how we feel because we go to work everyday, shower regularly

and we don’t curse in front of their mother. But, there is no substitute

And Last, But Definitely Not Least: Once is Not

Don’t just work on improving the areas listed above once a month.

Work on them every day. Frequency and consistency are the only way to

succeed. In fact, the experts say new habits can be developed in as little

as 21 days. Choose one mistake to work on. Take a specific corrective

action every day for 21 days and chances are you’ll have that mistake

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