CPO Health - FAMILY: 7 Major Marriage Mistakes
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AND HOW TO AVOID THEM - by Rose Barrett
The most common mistakes in a marriage are really the simple
ones. If you pay attention and avoid – or at least correct –
these mistakes, chances are you can count yourselves among the partners
Here’s the Major Marriage Mistakes List:
No one likes to be talked at, and no one likes to be ignored. When your
spouse begins talking with you, genuinely listen. If you’re busy
with something or are having difficulty maintaining your focus, ask if
you can talk at another time. Then set the time and place and keep the
appointment. Remember, when spouses take the time to talk with you, what
they are saying is important to them.
When you listen, truly listen, you are telling them they
are important to you. You care about their thoughts and opinions enough
to take the time to hear them.
This may be the most important place to employ the Golden Rule: Treat
your spouse as you would like your spouse to treat you. Thank your husband
for the things he does, even if it’s just picking up his socks.
Don’t talk bad about your wife when she isn’t around. If they
have a bad day, give them a little space to deal with what is going on.
Believe they are smart enough to handle the situation without your help.
However, if they ask for help, be there to give it.
When your spouse does something good, whether it’s
at work or at home, be sure to offer congratulations. Everyone likes recognition
for a job well done, especially when it’s unsolicited.
Be truthful with your mate. Having lies or secrets in a relationship creates
distance and a lack of trust. Even little lies can be hurtful. If you
spilled a soda on his favorite chair, don’t blame it on the dog.
Sometimes we’re afraid to tell the truth because we think our spouse
will get mad. And it might happen, but it’s a lot easier to get
over being angry about the truth than it is to get over the anger of being
The dictionary defines selfishness as being concerned with your own interest,
needs and wishes, while ignoring those of others. Translating this into
everyday life includes hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants
when you could afford better, not watching movies your spouse wants to
see, or spending money on yourself but making a big deal if your spouse
spends a dime. Putting your mate’s needs first is a great way of
demonstrating just how important he or she is to you.
Actions always speak louder than words. When you say you’ll do something,
do it. This can be as simple as showing up on time when picking your spouse
up from work. It includes not spending money when you’ve agreed
to a budget, even though your favorite department store is having a once
in a millennium sale. It means keeping intimate conversations private.
Your mate may tell you he thinks his brother is an idiot, but he doesn’t
want you to share that the next time brother comes over to visit.
There’s a phrase you simply can’t hear enough of. Saying,”
I love you,” is a regular part of the dating scene, but sometimes
after getting married it’s not heard nearly as often. Everyone likes
to know they are loved. Often we expect our spouse to automatically know
that’s how we feel because we go to work everyday, shower regularly
and we don’t curse in front of their mother. But, there is no substitute
And Last, But Definitely Not Least: Once is Not
Don’t just work on improving the areas listed above once a month.
Work on them every day. Frequency and consistency are the only way to
succeed. In fact, the experts say new habits can be developed in as little
as 21 days. Choose one mistake to work on. Take a specific corrective
action every day for 21 days and chances are you’ll have that mistake
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